I have not had to deal with any immediate (to me) death since I was in the first grade and I thought that when the time came I would be completely fine, boy was I wrong. I am usually a very controlled person, good at keeping my emotions under control and hiding them well. When my sister called to tell me the news that Grandpa Bill had passed I was a well of emotions. We knew the time was coming, he was 91 and lived an amazing live, but that still does not make it any easier. I am sad that I did not get to go and say goodbye to him and even more sad at the times I could have gone and saw him and did not. This is a great reminder that live is precious and to not take it for granted (very cliche, I know).
All growing up I wanted to grow up and become an adult and do adult things and now that I am an adult I am beginning to realize that it is hard work. There is so much to deal with, so many responsibilities, people counting on you and never really a break to just exist. I want to curl up and lay in bed for a whole day but alas the kids need to be fed and the house needs to be cleaned so maybe another day.
Love you Grandpa Bill.
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Anderson and Grandpa Bill eating togetherl on his 90th Birthday lat year. |